Woody's on-set journal

Last week, the New York Times published snippets from Woody Allen's fake on-set journal for his new film Vicky Christina Barcelona.

It's probably the funniest thing Woody's written this decade.

For me, Allen's comic style is all about absurdism and nihilism. Lately, it's mostly been the latter. Read any new Woody interview, and you'll hardly believe such self-deprecation and cynicism comes from the same man who once acted like this in front of cameras:



In his New York Times piece, Allen is on fire, echoing his Side Effects glory days. The punch lines, as before, are total left-fielders, each with their own strange sense of logic. Mostly, it's nice to see Woody have the confidence to put himself on the line again, like he used to as a stand-up comic. Instead of mumbling about lost opportunities and his own inadequacies, he's actually making an effort to entertain.

Here are some of my favorite bits:

"Barcelona is a marvelous city. Crowds turn out in the streets to watch us work. Mercifully they realize I’ve no time to give autographs, and so they ask only the cast members. Later I handed out some 8-by-10 photos of myself shaking hands with Spiro Agnew and offered to sign them, but by then the crowd had dispersed."

"Filmed at La Sagrada Familia, Gaudi’s masterpiece. Was thinking I have much in common with the great Spanish architect. We both defy convention, he with his breathtaking designs and me by wearing a lobster bib in the shower."

"Once again I had to help Javier with the lovemaking scenes. The sequence requires him to grab Penélope Cruz, tear off her clothes and ravish her in the bedroom. Oscar winner that he is, the man still needs me to show him how to play passion. I grabbed Penélope and with one motion tore her clothes off. As fate would have it she had not yet changed into costume, so it was her own expensive dress I mutilated. Undaunted I flung her down before the fireplace and dove on top of her. Minx that she is, she rolled away a split second before I landed causing me to fracture certain key teeth on the tile floor. Fine day’s work, and I should be able to eat solids by August."